Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth


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a manifesto for depressed, atheistic teeny-boppers


released June 13, 2014

All songs written, recorded and produced by Ben Falandays
Vocals, Guitar, and Keys by Ben Falandays
Bass Guitar by Ethan Essick
Drums by Kevin Shisko

Additional credits where noted

Album art by Megan Krol
Mastering by Jacob Folk



all rights reserved


THANKS. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: The Boatmaker
Carrying me back from the shore again –
Every damn time my ship goes down!
How’m I supposed to get all the way to Spain?
One on the sea is worth ten aground.

Livin' on a cliff above a loneliness,
You're only one step from the rocks and the reeds.
When the wind blows it’ll whisper this:
"Every dyin' thing's gotta go with me."

Maybe when the rent’s all paid we’ll live again.
I’ll give it up to ya like an offering.

It’s an offering! Won’t ya take it from me?

One crown between a king and a fool.
It’s right to give praise where it’s due,
But I’ll drown trying to drink up to you.

Over in the hills is a ringin' bell
Carryin' the song of the human age:
"Everything I own, I done built myself;
Anything that’s broke, I broke today.

Lyin’ in the dust is a dusty man –
Image in the flesh of some good advice.
Offer him a hand and he’ll pull ya in.
Anything that can’t be blood is ice.

Track Name: Baby Blue
The sound of a scraping of glass
Makes you feel that you’re part of a chemistry set
It’s a bilk of the breath
On the nape of your neck
God, you’re a wreck!

Such an ethereal way to be mad
Only one so lucky can mourn the un-had
And it ain’t hard to tell
You been drinking the rail
God, you’re so frail!

How magnificent to share in a lack
You should’ve known that my boy would take after his old man
And he got gone
As soon as he had
The chance

If only it was so easy
To wipe off a sin
As it is for a life
That fits on the head of a pin

Frightly watching sacred light that streams across the table
Metal cold and serrated helps you un-motherable
Track Name: Coach Phil
It fell right to the Earth,
Crashing like a shuttle in its first seconds of flight
It took me all night to get it back
So bring it on in boys, and get it on track
Bring it on in boys, give up and go home

But I need somewhere to go
and I need somewhere to go

It fell right to my head
I opened like the book of the dead
Cut it in half, and try to laugh and make it alright
So bring it on in boys, you put up a good fight
Bring it on in boys, give up and go home

But I need somewhere to go
and I need somewhere to go

You strike me as an honest guy
So just tell me that you don't want to die
Or I'll take this hot metal 45
and I'll put one right between your eyes

Bring it on in boys
Give up, give up, give up, give up

But I need somewhere to go
and I need somewhere to go
Track Name: Calvin & Albert
Calvin and Albert
Went down to their neighbor’s house
When something very strange occurred,
They didn’t know how to explain it
Some guy in a car
Had shot a guy on the sidewalk
And their whole little town
Seemed pretty shook up about it.

So they played some videogames
With their friend Chris and his girlfriend
And as they passed their time away
They noticed they hadn’t spoken
Until finally someone had said...
And this and also that
And some more stuff happened before they were dead

I don’t think that it’s anybody’s business
What I do with my free time
I don’t think it’s any of your business
What I wanna do with mine

At a party in October
This drunk girl came up to me
She asked me if I had seen
Becca sometime recently.
I told her, “You must be confused,
I don’t know who the fuck Becca is,
but maybe you could check in that
pile of leaves out in the back”

So I continued to drink
Until I made myself sick of it
And the next day when I saw my face
I had a black eye from I don’t know when
I must have fallen once or twice
On the way home it was very dark
It was the middle of the night


It ain’t like nothin’ terrible ain’t happened before today
Always something terrible come to make you regret whatever you say
Track Name: Ma, I'm on My Way (An Interlude)
Oh, Mama
Stay, Ma
I'm on my way

Oh, Mama
Stay, Ma
I'm on my way, Ma
I'm going to die

I'm going to die
I'm going to die
I'm going to die

I'm going down three times
Lord, I'm coming up twice

I'm going down three times
Only coming up twice

Said I'm coming up two times,
but I'm going down, down, down
Track Name: The Preacher's Lament
It was already too late
When first I heard them coming
They stormed in through the gate
The heat was as an oven

They marched upon the yard
And found therein the orphans
Singin' "if God is not a man,
Whose image did he make us in?"

Now I'm running away from the March
from the brimstone and the fire
Done doing what they taught me in church
and singin' what I learned in the

I crossed the sea and the mountain
I begged for food and for money
I was looking for shelter, man
In the land of the milk and the honey

So, honey, I will milk you good
You will buy every Word I'm selling
And when the sun comes up on the third
I'm telling you I will
Rise again

You can lead a horse to water
You can push his head on down
You can peel apart his lips
You might make him drown

But if you bring him to the muddy river
And he just won't take a drink
There might be something under there
That he knows about, that you don't
You think?
Don't you think?
Track Name: Losing a Friend
There’s a bone in my head
And now I'm reeling every time I think of you
Just know: when you’re dead
I will still raise up a drink to you

You’re spending time in your bed
You ain’t been the same since you got back from Japan
You’re insane off of your meds
Somehow you think you’re better like that
Well, you do not want to know where that sad sound is coming from
I’m sitting by your room playing these songs so you can listen to them

Oh! Can’t you see what you’ve done to me?
Man, I’m not who I used to be
But even still, I am bound to you
And so, If you ever came back to me,
I would welcome you openly
Isn’t that what a friend should do?

I don’t want to lose a friend
I don’t want to lose a friend
I don’t want to lose a friend
We didn’t know how easy it would end

We grew up in my woods
Away from men, we could play as gods
When we crossed the top of the ridge
There was light on the hill and we saw it was good!
But you left me for two years in the time when I needed you most
And when you said the word I came running back like I’d seen a ghost

Oh! After all that I’ve done for you
You are foolish to stab me through
Can’t you see that you’re bound to me?
So, when I’m falling, you’re falling too
But I am honored to fall with you
Isn’t that how a friend should be?

Track Name: Give Me Bread
Give me bread, give me bread
Or give me something else instead
Give me bread, give me bread
Or lay a crown upon my head
I’m a dead man in a coffin
I don’t come around that often
But won’t you lay a kiss upon my cheek?

Give me bread, give me bread
Or give me something else instead
Of that, I’m a cat
And I live inside a magic witch’s hat
Won’t you come and tip me over?

Give me bread, give me bread
Or tell me where the dark path led
When you went down in the moonlight
You gave me such a good fright
Not to know if you would come back home

Give me bread, give me bread
Or tell me what the devil said
When he gave you all your power
Deep in the midnight hour
Silky ghosts around your little face

Give me bread, give me bread
Or show me that my blood’s still red
Not black, like the spell that you cast
Oh I’m certain that the last
Thing I’ll ever do is love you.
Track Name: Search for Permanence
In my life I find
Doubt is ever present
Like the cathedral bell

That in the town when it rings
It seems that the sound is pleasant
But it means someone’s hell

I didn’t leave, I
Didn’t leave, I
Didn’t leave, I lied

I didnt sleep, I
Don’t sleep, I
Didn’t sleep, I die

I don’t mean to
Be like this, I
Just don’t try

Even Christ had to lie in his grave
Got tired fast, got his ass bailed out in just three days
And like him, I am searching for escape
The search for permanence was a big, big mistake

I wish that God had made me
Just to be your lover
But he ain’t a lovin’ guy

Instead he made us just
to grow in age and pass away
Aint that some unkind?

I don’t mean to
Mislead you
But it hurts to see

That I can’t keep you
You can’t keep me
There is no permanent thing

How can I have you when
I cannot hold you?
There is no permanent thing